


Gone

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-21
Updated: 2002-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna deals the aftermath of Josh's shooting.





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Gone**

**by:** Marina  


**Character/Category:** Donna, Angst/Drama  
**Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** Donna deals the aftermath of Josh's shooting.   
**Notes:** Heavy material.   


Donnatella Moss watched helplessly as the medical staff operated on her beloved friend throughout the long night. His chances of living were against him. Donna could sense that. It was an eerie feeling that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up and her heart ache. The First Lady advised Donna that it wasn't healthy to watched Josh's surgery. It would be too painful. "Anymore painful then what Josh is experiencing now?," Donna quietly asked. "I suppose not," Abigail Bartlet solemnly replied. Donna met the First Lady's gaze as tears welled up in her eyes. "Mrs. Bartlet. I'm staying right here. I'm not going anywhere until I know Josh is going to be okay." And with that, the First Lady squeezed Donna's hand and let her be. 

The nurses and doctors frantically moved about in the surgery room. Everything seemed so surreal. The medical instuments, heart monitor and the dozens of people all trying to save Joshua Lyman. Her Josh. Beep. Beep. Beep - the monitor read out. It was a good sign. He was still alive. But Donna wondered how long and then cursed herself for thinking such a thing. Of course Josh was going to be okay. He always seemed to pull through. The midterms were only weeks away and with his stubborn attitude, she knew he wouldn't miss kicking Republican ass for anything. He lived for it. 

Donna clasped her necklace as she watched a nurse adjust Josh's breathing tube. He looked so peaceful, almost like an angel. "No. Don't think things like that. He's going to be fine. He's going to pull through." 

"Donna?," a familiar voiced called. It was Toby. His voice was strained and his eyes were tired. Going back to the White House was not an option for him. He knew people needed him to stay at the hospital. He needed to be strong. He needed to be strong for the people that were weakening all around him. "Donna?," he asked again.

"Hi, Toby," Donna bearly whispered as her eyes never left the surgical room. 

Toby gently placed his hand on her shoulder to console Donna. He sighed. Both watched the doctors and nurses help Josh fight to save his life. 

\-------

"No!," Doctor Reynolds screamed. "We're losing him. What's his blood pressure?!?"

"130 over 80 and falling." 

After six hours of long and intense surgery... Josh was gone. A collasped lung and severe blood loss was too much for his body to handle. Donna stared at the heart monitor. It was a long substained note until one of the nurses turned it off. The doctors took their gloves off and pulled off their caps. "Time of death, 3:21 A.M," one of them said as the nurse jotted it down. "I'll notify family and friends." The doctor turned and stopped before heading through the double doors. He hadn't expected to see that two people had just watched their friend die. 

\-------

"Can... can I see him?"

"Ms. Moss, I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Please!," she begged. Donna lowered her head and whispered, "I need to see him."

Doctor Reynolds looked at the young woman who was sobbing controllably before him and granted Donna her wish. "Of course. Take all the time you need." 

"Thank you." Donna walked slowly through the double doors and into the room. Her heels making contact with the floor was the only sound she could hear. She couldn't even hear her own heartbeat. After hearing Josh's heart stop, Donna wasn't sure whether or not she still had one. 

She glanced around the room and saw that no one else was there. It was only him and her. Toby had given her time alone with Josh and went back to the waiting room with the doctor. 

Josh's stiff body lay flat on the cold table. He was covered with a thin blue medical sheet as Donna stood in the center of the room for what had seem like hours. None of what she had witnessed made any sense to her. One minute they were joking around and having fun and the next minute he was gone. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. God was playing some cruel cosmic joke on them. She cursed at him under her breath. "You can't take him from me like this! You can't!" Another flood of tears streamed down her face. "It isn't fair." 

Slowly, she approached the table and was now less then five inches from it. She pulled back the medical sheet. At the shock of his pale face, she fell backward trying desparately to grab onto something to catch her fall. She caught the sheet that covered 3/4th of Josh's body. After regaining her composure, she stood up and saw the large gaping whole in his abdomen. She continued to cry.

   

Some time passed after mustering the courage to cover Josh's abdomen again with the medical sheet. Donna nervously touched his cold, lifeless body. She felt the icy tips of his fingers and interlocked her hand with his. She sat on a nearby stool and stared blankly at the shell of her former friend.  Leaning over, she softly whispered, "I loved you. You know that? I loved you. I... I don't think that I have ever loved anyone as muched as I loved you. I'm... I'm just so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to. I really did. But you know, all those stupid White House rules and regulations... I just... I just hope that... No. No. I know that you loved me too." 

Donna stood up and took a few steps back from the operating table. An intensity in her voice was rising. "I don't understand how... I don't understand how you could leave like this? It's not fair, Josh! It's not fair! When your sister died, didn't you think it was a sign?! It was! It was a sign that you're suppose to live! You're suppose to live a happy long life! You're suppose to get married and have kids! You're supposed to be with me! And... and now you're gone. It's not fair." 

Back in the waiting room, Toby and the First Lady could hear Donna's yells. Toby's first thought was to run toward the sound to make sure everything was okay. But Abby's hand held him back. "Let her say what she needs to say," Mrs. Bartlet said. 

Toby nodded and sat back down in his chair. He put his head in his hands and mourned the loss of Joshua Lyman. He couldn't bare it anymore. The sadness was too strong for him to control. 

\-------

It had been almost two hours since Donna entered the surgical room. Once again, she sat next to her friend and rested her head on his chest. She quietly cried into the night. Josh was gone, and he was never coming back. 

THE END


End file.
